For those that have been following along, this week concludes the "Fitness Challenge" I was participating in. The last three weeks have been less than ideal and circumstances beyond my control prevented further success in my progression. My body decided to revolt in it's usual way, by getting sick. Two Covid tests and an one Urgent Care visit later, it was determined that I had walking pneumonia, a dance my immune system likes to take all too often.
I'd be lying if I said that this didn't get me down, but I knew that if there was ever a time I needed to be patient and gentle with me, this was the time. I rested, relaxed, watched more tv than I care to admit and just tried my best to enjoy each and every day to it's fullest (even if that meant binging Schitt$ Creek for two hours straight). --if you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor!
As I am starting to emerge from the "Darkside" of not feeling well, I felt myself getting angry that I wasn't able to complete the challenge like I anticipated because I knew "this was finally going to be the time that I committed and followed through"...but you know what they say about making plans...clearly there was a lesson I needed to learn more in not completing the competition like I wanted to.
I am a huge believer in lessons, I believe every rise and every fall provides a lesson and I believe our character is defined by those pivotal moments when things do not go as expected. So while this challenge wasn't "Earth Shattering" or "Mountain Moving" in the way that some things are, this challenge reminded me of who I am and what I am made of. I learned what happens when I actually put my mind to something (yes, before pneumonia took over, I was the lowest weight I have been all year and my body was doing things it hadn't all year---i.e. hold myself up on the rig). I learned I can do hard things (track food, work out every day, drink all the water, almost hit all of my macros, give up pop, say no to cake, choose healthy over junk). I learned to be gentle with me and on days where it was hard, I learned that watching tv is okay too.
So today as my mind started spiraling down a negative tunnel, I reflected on all the things that I can do. My body is still not 100 percent and I have no idea when I will get to go to the gym again, but I decided to start making small challenges on my own, December 1st sounded like a great day to start my first challenge of walking every day, no excuses (well unless my lungs tell me otherwise)!
I've been on a "Self Discovery" journey for a couple of years now and I have learned a lot about me and the love that I deserve, not only from those around me, but from myself. I've learned to let go (one of the hardest lessons to date), how to forgive, when to care less, when to care more, when to be gentle, when to push harder and ultimately how to love more than I ever have. I've learned I'm stronger than I give myself credit for and although it may appear that I am not following through on much of anything, piece by piece, I am following through on the completion of me.
We are all going to have plans of doing big things and then life happens and we are reminded that:
"You can not always be the controller, but you can be the optimizer."
In simple terms, make the best out of what you have, you'd be surprised at what you find.
Be kind. Be love. Be you.
Love to you all;
Shea
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