What do your words say about you? “Actions over words Shea, actions over words.” This mantra keeps circling back to my plate of lessons and is something I have really been honing in on lately. Whether that be my own words or those given to me by others, I’m understanding that words with little or no action are just empty promises with no desire to fill.
It starts with me. I have goals, wishes and dreams that I speak aloud in one way or another, when I don’t set actions into place to make any of these things happen, the words I say start to become less meaningful. People start to say “Ugh, it’s just Shea talking nonsense again.” cue eye roll.
Who we are is our business card for life. Our aesthetics draw humans in, but the words we use, the actions we back them up with are what keep those humans coming back for more. I could tell you I’m the best magician this side of the Mississippi, build the best stage to perform my tricks, but if the audience comes to watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat and all I do is tell them that I can without actually proving it, I’m afraid my life of a magician wouldn’t last as long as I had hoped.
We put effort into those areas and humans that we are passionate about. If I tell you that "I love you" and leave you constantly questioning it by giving my time and energy to others, that "I love you" lack’s it’s meaning and I will slowly start to lose you in my life because the trust you have in my words has diminished. They say the Universe put dogs into our lives and the inability to talk to remind us all that it’s not the words we use that generate the love we feel, it’s the way we make someone feel without using any words at all.
As we near a close of this year, I want you to look around at the table of humans you created. Who gets your time? Who gets your words? Who gets your heart? Who gets it all? Who knows they are invited and loved no matter what? Who do you not want to lose? Was your mind filled with goodness? Or does your "business card" need to be tweaked a little? Don’t invite anyone to your table that you don’t want to serve and if you decide what they bring is something you’re no longer wanting to be a part of, ask them to kindly leave. Speaking from my own experience, I’d much rather have someone be truthful about my place at their table than to tell me I have a place and watch them serve everyone else but me.
There’s a lot of hurt in all of our beautiful hearts. We deserve to be surrounded by those who love and care for us constantly. We aren’t maybes or when I get time, we are all yes’s and always. Communication, vulnerability, love, support and a constant ability to grow is what forms unique and everlasting relationships. How we show up for ourselves and others is how we create a better life for not only ourselves, but all those we meet.
Many of us ask, how can we make this world a better place? We start by becoming better humans. Love hard. Cherish the humans you have and are presented with. Make the words flow, make them known and most importantly, make them felt. Fido might not fetch the ball like he should, but he sure can teach us a lot about how to love like we should. Good dog Fido, good dog.
💜💙💕
Music Hits Differently
Surprise Concert!!
I'm a "yes" girl and I don't even feel bad about it, especially when it comes to concerts. If you ask me to attend a concert, 99.9% of the time I am going to say yes.
A couple weeks back a group of friends and myself were watching a drag show (also something I will always say yes to) and a good friend of mine asked if I wanted to go see Maddie Poppe. Recognizing the name, but not being completely familiar with her music, I said yes.
Fast forward to this last Friday, where at work I started to familiarize myself with her music so I was all set for the concert that night. Yeah, I am that person, always researching and getting into the musician's music before I attend the concerts so I can be more engaged and aware of what they are singing. Her voice captivated me at first listen and I was even more excited to see her live.
Her voice was just as magical in person. I seriously could have listened to her all night. It was acoustic which is one of my favorite types of concerts. While she doesn't have a huge catalog of songs, the songs that she sang were meaningful, had a great story to go along with them and the "wow" factor was definitely felt. She proved you don't need a huge stage presence to standout, you just need a good set of pipes, make us laugh and do what you were put on this Earth to do. Hands down would love to see her again if the opportunity ever presents itself. See below for three of my favorites that she sings.
Thankful for my friends that always choose me and invite me along on their escapades.
Made You Miss
She had a great story that went along with this song. One that is better told from her own mouth, but to summarize and older lady mistaken her lyrics for "Made You Miss Me" for "Making Biscuits" and well let's just say if I ever made biscuits, I'd definitely see where she might have come up with that translation.
"Don't blame yourself for trying, just blame yourself for messin' up."
Wildflowers
I would have to say this is one of my favorites. The lyrics are amazing and really showcases her beautiful voice.
"And you can take me far away, but you can never take this part of me."
Not Losing You
The lyrics of this song are just beautiful. We all have insecurities that we bring into every relationship and it might be challenging, but it is within our love that we help ease those insecurities of the other. Those that really get how to do this without losing the connection, open up a deeper bond of love. Love isn't neglecting or rejecting the insecurities of those in our lives, but understanding them and being the rock that the other needs.
"You got scars, they make you doubt, but you should know I won't leave more."
New Year, Who Dis...
Speaking of putting action behind your words. This year was the year I decided to put my “money where my mouth is”…well not really because I’m still working on the budgeting part, but I did knock some of my goals out of the park.
When we lay down plans for our goals we often times spend so much time reaching for them, that we don’t sit and rejoice in the small victories. This time last year, I was thinking about quitting the gym. I lost the love for it and it wasn’t something I wanted to focus my time on anymore. Almost 365 days later, I’m the smallest pant size I’ve ever been in my adult life, lost 65 pounds, got my Personal Training certification and not only belong to one gym, but two.
I like to take this time of year to detach from the gym for a bit so that I can approach it with a better mindset and be ready to “hit the ground” running again. As they say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder". I don’t know if that is always true, but allowing myself to just exist a bit with no expectations, no definitive after work schedule just helps me get caught up on everyday life and forces me to sketch out my goals for the upcoming year.
2021 was a little sad in some areas and pretty amazing in others. In all areas it has provided ample growth in my self worth, direction and purpose in this life. I think for the first time in a very long time, I felt the year, despite its difficulties, was filled with a lot of aspects I could be very proud of.
LifeCoaching is going to be one of my biggest hurdles in 2022, but I have already put in place ideas and ways to make it a success. I officially purchased my own domain (progressiverainbows.com) where it currently houses my blog, but over the course of the next 12 months I will be making that bigger and better than ever. I have a number of other additional goals I would like to accomplish and judging by what I conquered in a year where I felt like I was falling apart, I can't wait to see what will happen now that I am a little stronger.
I should have reflected a little sooner on my wins, danced a little harder in my successes, focused a little more on the positives and a little less on the negatives, but overall who I became, what I learned and the steps I took to get me further than ever were more appreciated than in years past. We don't get to control what happens in our life, but we get to control how we respond to those events that take place.
While I might write down all the goals and dreams I want to accomplish this year, ultimately life is going to take me where it needs to. I am doing a better job of learning to pivot and change with what life throws at me, but there is definitely room for improvement. While the tears may shed a little more freely than most and I might allow my heart to be broken a little more than I should, being true to myself and being more confident in what I bring to the table is what I have really been trying to excel at.
I will forever be encompassing of whomever would like to join me at my table, but I need to be better when someone rejects me from theirs and not lose myself in fighting for them to stay. I will always see someone's worth, but if they choose not to see mine, that is not a reflection on who I am, but a reflection on what they aren't ready to handle.
Listening to my daughter discuss the situations she goes through with her peers, it has come to my attention that being accepted and sadly sometimes rejected is something that we all struggle with at every point in our life. Inclusion and fitting in is often the heart of my blog because even at 44 that is something I often can't get a full understanding of.
I had a friend reach out to me this week and text (after we had a few heart to hearts) "You literally always know what to say. You are who I want to be like when I grow up.". This meant the world to me and I of course told her that and thanked her for these words, my caveat to that was, "Just don't wait until you're my age to figure out all the amazing that you are and hold. Work on that self confidence now.". Our self-confidence dictates the relationships that we hold, keep and let go. The stronger we are in who we are, the stronger everything around us becomes.
My biggest goal in the coming year, be proud of who I am, remember that I am perfect in my own uniqueness and allow humans to enter and exit how they see fit. At the end of the day we all just want to be loved and accepted, but in order to get that from others, we first, must give it to ourselves. 2021 taught me a lot about myself, those I hold close and about life, I expect the same from 2022, but hoping it's a little gentler with the lessons.
Happy Holidays and Happy New Years. May it be filled with family, friends and all the love that you deserve!
Be Kind. Be Love. Be You.
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