Back by popular demand and by "popular" I mean 15 of you had said yes and one said no (yes, one said no) when I conducted a poll on social media last week asking if I should bring back my blog. Hahaha, I won't dwell on the "no"...hahaha...who am I kidding, I am totally dwelling on the no! But anyways, I am back!
Writing has always been a passion of mine and something that helps me work through the deep thoughts in my head. It's incredible how therapeutic writing can be and it's pretty neat to see how my thoughts and words can impact someone else. I am excited to see what I can do with this blog. I will be "rebranding" a bit, bringing back some old favorites, incorporating some new, but never fear, it will have my same heart! It will surely be a work in progress and ever changing, very similar to my life.
If any of you have some amazing ideas, maybe have a topic that is bothering you and would like a little insight from me, topics for future blogs or whatever it might be, I would love to hear from you. Please email me at sheastyle143@gmail.com. with anything you have on your mind. Something I have learned is that we are all fighting our own battles in this crazy life and as beautiful as it is, it's always nice to know that we are not alone! Please know that I am always here for whatever you might need, never hesitate to reach out!
Soooo welcome to my first blog of 2021...six months late...in true SheaStyle! Thank you all 15 of you that wanted me to bring it back and thank you, to the one no, for being honest, I am deeply grateful and humbled by you all!
I’m always working on becoming a better me because I know in order to love myself and the humans around me in the way that we all deserve I have to be the very best version of myself. That requires a lot of learning, a lot of heartache, sadly some letting go and ultimately growth.
2021 has been packed full of lessons and one of the hardest and most complicated to date is the lesson of not taking anything personally. Oooffff!! How does one do that when it is human nature to think all eyes are on us? When it is instinct to think when things go wrong that it is our fault. I wish I had a clear answer and I wish that I could say that it isn’t a constant internal struggle. It’s a lesson filled with tears, mindnumbing dialogue telling yourself that you aren’t enough, a ping of heartache and day to day building up and tearing down of your own worthiness. But the truth is, the more we understand others actions or lack there of isn’t a reflection of the kind of person we are, but solely a reflection of the kind of person that they are, we will then understand how to love and be loved to the very highest level. That’s it. It’s that easy. Lesson over (she says as she closes the book and looks around the classroom). Oooohhhh (laughingly), you want more? Hahaha. Okay, fine.
My personal story and experiences are mine and will look very differently on you, but I do believe that we all struggle with the same things in one way or another. Ive cried countless times because I didn’t think I was enough. Wondered why someone got picked over me. Why this person or that didn’t want to spend time with me. Why someone didn't talk to me, Or why someone's words didn't align with their actions in the way that I had hoped. I, as of late, refer to myself as "almost picked" because in more times than none, that is exactly how I feel. I guess it's a step up or maybe a step down of when I used to dub myself the DUFF (you know Designated Ugly Fat Friend)...it's a harsh term, but in every friend group, there is always someone who feels that way. Anyways, I digress.
This year I really started to focus on why I felt like I do when someone treats me a certain way. I dissected my feelings, the situations, the humans I was having the "issues" with and I realized that in all instances, I forgot who I was. I forgot what made me who I am. I put all my worth into one situation/human and essentially lost all of my value. I forgot that everyone is fighting their own battles and that while someone might not be treating me in the way that I expected, that doesn't mean that I am less valuable then if they were. I forgot that we all have insecurities, our own heartaches, personal issues we don't want to talk about, worthiness battles and mind gremlins that eat us alive. We are all constantly trying to keep our head above water and day after day, give it our very best, whatever that might look like for that day. So while I might be saddened because "so and so" didn't talk to me as much as they usually do and that might rock my world in a way that I wasn't expecting, "so and so" might be doing everything that they can to just function that day and anything above that might be rocking their world in ways that they weren't expecting. I like to view myself a little differently and try to give as much attention to all of those humans in my life, but I know someone right now is reading this and thinking "I remember that one time, she didn't give me the time of day"...does that mean I don't care about that human, absolutely not, it just means that whatever was happening in life at that moment consumed me enough to make it more difficult to reach out.
My point in all of this, practice grace, kindness and love. Remember who you are and what you have to offer. Understand your worthiness and believe in it. If someone is treating you a certain way that you don't care for, don't retaliate by treating that human or other humans in the same way, learn from it. Allow these situations to make you a better friend, lover (are we still using this term) and human. I am not saying that it's okay for people to treat you "poorly", unfortunately some people change or are just not people meant for you anymore or at all and that is when you have to make the decision to let go. I am saying, treat others as you would like to be treated. Give them the benefit of the doubt and above all keep being the amazing person that you are. I have learned when situations aren't ideal and when humans in my life are being a little more difficult than usual, I pour out more love to both them and all the humans in my life and I am also learning to dump it on myself too. Life is hard. Humans are hard. Always remember for every human that isn't giving you the time of day, there are countless others wishing they had more time to spend with you.
Money's value doesn't increase or decrease depending on who's pocket it is in, so remember that about you too. It's hard not to shut down and not let it dull your shine when you feel "almost picked", but remember who you are, what you are made of and go be someone's "omg they picked me!".
Rainbows are Magical
My blog is going to be deemed the "Rainbow Chaser" because for those that know me, know I like to find the good in everything. That doesn't mean that I am perfect. I have plenty of demons that try to destroy me daily and sometimes unfortunately they take me down, but even within that, I am constantly trying to find the lesson and ways in which that circumstance is supposed to make me better. I believe that the rainbows are always there. Sometimes they are faded and you have to look a little harder, but every time you find one, they are magical. I invite you to go Rainbow Chasing SheaStyle, where every blog is an adventure and the destination is always unknown...well mostly because I am not good with directions (hahaha)...but fun is plentiful and lessons are always to be had. Have an amazing rest of your week and keep being you!!
Be Kind. Be Love. Be You.
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